Sadly, Affairs Are the Number One Cause For Divorce!
If roughly one in four men and one in five women have an affair at some time In their life, could your spouse be one of them?
When a person is unable to let go of that feeling of attraction towards someone not their spouse, they may risk everything–even their marriage–to give into their feelings. Sadly, affairs are the number one cause of divorce.
The roots of affairs are difficult to pin down and are usually many, not one even if you are in a happy, stable marriage, you or your partner could find yourself tempted to have an affair simply for the excitement, novelty, and break from routine. A variety of motives, both internal and social, spur people to have affairs.
Men and women both have high expectations of marriage–that their partner will be their soul mate, that love will be effortless, that their sex life will be dynamic and exciting. When these expectations are not fulfilled, men and women often look to someone else for fulfillment rather than examining their own expectations.
If you and your partner take each other for granted and treat one another like housemates instead of lovers, the stage is set for one of you to have an affair. This is this single greatest cause of affairs. When relationships are struggling, both men and women look elsewhere to get their emotional needs met and easily find themselves in the arms of someone “who appreciates them”.
Public acceptance of affairs has transformed dramatically over the past few decades. There continues to be strong social and moral condemnation of infidelity, but the consequences of having an affair are not as great as in the past. Nowadays, an affair isn’t shadowed by the brand of social stigma, or losing one’s job as a result. Cheating spouses are comforted by the ease of divorce that would allow them to leave their spouse for their lover. As culture removes more and more of the consequences of infidelity, more spouses will cheat. It’s as simple as that.
When marriages end in divorce as a result of infidelity, men are three times more likely to be the adulterous partner. However, women cheat on their spouses as well. This number has risen considerably from a previous survey ten years earlier, and experts expect that the number will continue to climb until women have just as many affairs as men.
Temptation is everywhere, but as men and women spend more time with each other away from their partners, giving into that temptation becomes easier and easier. When a man or a woman spends a lot of time with a member of the opposite sex–whether friend, co-worker, or teammate–they develop a platonic friendship that can become much, much more. Familiarity, emotional intimacy, and common professional or sporting goals create a powerful bond that may feel more compelling than the marital relationship.
Many people seek marriage advice only after they’ve discovered that their partner has been having an affair. In many cases, the cheating spouse has already moved out and is living with their lover. An affair can destroy your marriage, but it doesn’t have to. You can still save your marriage.
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Ram Bhalla writes extensively on Family, Health and Money matters. http://marriage-saving-tips.info http://makingup-your-marriage.info http://anxiety-disorder-cure.info
7 Romantic Steps to Take to Save Your Marriage
Most often one of the biggest causes of a marriage breakdown is the romance is allowed to go out of it. You can save your marriage by focusing on what you can do to put a stop to this from happening again, then taking the steps to spark the romance once again.
1. Becoming Complacent
It is easy once you have settled into married life to go beyond being content, and start to take each other for granted. You may have gotten to the point where you feel you don’t have to tell your spouse you love them, because you do, and they should know that. Everyone needs to be told they are loved once in awhile, and even if they know it they need to hear it.
If you think about it, has your partner told you lately how much they love you? If not, then you are probably in the midst of a marriage breakdown and may not realize that you need to take some action here. You have got to start working on the romance to save your marriage.
2. Make The Time
Time is often one of the biggest romance robbers in a relationship. With the fast pace of living that many people are faced with its difficult to find time for romance. Finances seem to play a big factor in this as well, but it really shouldn’t. Expressing love for each other through romance can be done at no financial cost.
3. Put Some Thought Into Your Romance
Just telling your spouse that you love them is not enough. You will need to show it as well. After all when you were first dating no doubt you gave a great deal of thought to the romance of the relationship. Think about some of the things that you did back then to spark the love that led you to marriage
4. Put Forth The Effort
Make an effort to lure your partner back into the relationship, and by doing so you will be taking positive steps to save your marriage. Be seductive and appealing. Be a plain old fashioned romantic by doing some little things that you know your partner will respond to.
5. Make It Intriguing
Be sure that when you are making your efforts to put the romance back into your marriage that you make it intriguing. This way your spouse is going to see and feel that you truly do want to save your marriage, and there really is a foundation of love there.
6. Make It Consistent
One very important factor to keep in mind is to remain consistent. If you are really putting forth an effort into romance in the beginning just to save your marriage, then stop because you are going to lose your partner’s trust. They will feel like you were simply using romance, as a tool to save your marriage and that maybe there is not real love there.
7. Be Responsive
As soon as your spouse starts to respond to your romantic efforts chances are they will also begin to put an effort into the romance as well. It is important that you receive these gestures with as much enthusiasm as you are putting forth. Marriage is a partnership.
By following these few tips to put the spark back into your marriage then fuelling the romance with your actions means you have made some strong steps to save your marriage.
Carson Burnett is a relationship expert. For more information on how save marriage, visit http://www.savemarriagestopdivorcenow.com.
How to Bring Back the Spark in the Relationship
Do you feel like the relationship is going nowhere? Would you like to save it? These tips don’t offer any guarantee, but they are surely worth a try:
1. Talk things over.
Plenty of relationships are saved by just merely talking. What should you talk about? Discuss about the present situation. Acknowledge the apprehension and the issue. Unless one of you decides to do that, the relationship will just die its natural death. You need your partner to figure out what’s possibly wrong and where the relationship is heading.
2. Recommit with each other.
If you’re done talking and realize that you want to save the relationship, then both of you should make the commitment to just do it. It’s not going to last a while longer if one of you exerts the most effort while the other does the receiving all the time. Make it a conscious team effort.
3. Go back to the old ways.
Sometimes all the relationship needs is a little reminder of the past. You may want to recall those instances when you feel so much love. Perhaps you can recreate it and see how things go. Normally the moment will also bring back the memories of the love you could be losing now.
4. Do something different.
There’s also the possibility that both of you are trapped in a routine. When you do the same things over and over, the relationship will surely turn cold and boring. It wouldn’t be long before one or both of you look for a sense of excitement someplace else.
Make it a habit to explore activities you haven’t done before once in a while. Or you may go against your own personalities. For example, if both of you are pretty laid-back, you could opt for an adventure in the Amazon or somewhere in Latin America come summer. If you prefer going to the beach, you can head to Aspen for skiing during winter.
5. Be romantic.
How do you bring back the spark? Just be romantic. Leave special notes, have breakfasts in bed, go out on dates, or simply hug and kiss each other often.
6. Enhance your level of self-confidence.
Negative emotions and thoughts can wreak havoc into any relationship. If you are constantly jealous of your partner, you really cannot expect him to stay around for too long. He’ll leave and find someone who’s sure of herself.
It’s time to double-check on your personality. Are you confident about yourself? Are you independent enough to not be too clingy or needy? Changing a bad habit or behavior doesn’t happen overnight, but you can speed it up with subliminal messages.
Subliminal messages or affirmations can assist you in changing your manner of thinking. Consider the following:
I am sure of myself.
I am confident enough to stand on my own.
I am secure of this relationship and what I can give.
I am sure of my love for my partner.
I am my own person.
Repeat these subliminal messages. What do you feel? Surely you can sense empowerment, which you definitely need to be confident.
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